I'm 29. Single. I live a fairly independent life, and I feel confident enough where it hasn't stopped me from traveling to new places and cities unaccompanied, Even so, I prepare myself for battle every time I go somewhere alone.
I used to dial 911 and keep my finger poised on the green "send" button. Now I have a phone app that tracks my GPS and will send my location to the police for an immediate response if I let go of my finger on my phone. I am angry I have to even have that app, an app I pay a monthly fee for.
I recently was walking a few short blocks to where I parked my car. Along the way, a man asked me if I knew if he was at the right bus stop and when the next bus would be coming. I took the time to look it up. He then asked me if I was single. I told him I was, but wasn't looking for anything. He said "it doesn't have to be anything, just something fun." I walked away. I am angry that just stopping to be helpful meant he could suggest sex.
When I was 13, I wore a baseball style shirt with the number 69 on it. I didn't know what that referenced. People in my grade did. I got made fun of. I never wore the shirt again.
I am scared to go for a walk or running around my safe neighborhood at dark. I still do it, but I try to be prepared. I am angry that I have to be scared, worried, and always prepared.
When I was 16, I was asked by a guy in my grade if I wanted to have sex with him. I told him no. He asked me why not? I told him because I didn't want to. I'm thankful it stopped there. That same year my prom date made it very obvious he was angry I wouldn't have sex with him that night. I am angry that at 16, sex is demanded from girls like good service at a five star restaurant.
I once wanted to see a favorite indie artist perform. She never tours, so this one time was basically it. She was playing at a bar in a not so great area of St. Paul. I was determined to go, but practically no one was available to go with me, and I didn't want to go to a bar alone. (Thankfully, my friend Flip joined me.) I am angry I was worried about going alone to a bar to see a favorite artist.
A former employer's wife sent her husband a "singing telegram" for my boss' birthday during our staff lunch. The telegram was a slutty nurse who gave him a lap dance and blew up penis balloons..and deflated them. They laughed. I left. I was angry that I felt awkward, and that I had to leave that behavior at a workplace.
I gave away my keychain alarm that screams with the pitch of a soprano and the loudness of a 747 jet to my sister, who is in college. I am probably the MOST ANGRY angry that I have to worry about HER safety.
I am grateful to guys like my old roommate's Navy-man husband, who taught me how I could defend myself if I were attacked. I am angry I should have to ask him in the first place. One of my old roommates brought home a young man she had been mentoring that was recently released from jail because he had "nowhere else to go," even though he was choosing not to live at the halfway house. I felt unsafe in my own home. She chose to ignore that and was angry to think that I felt unsafe. My other roommate sided with her. I felt unprotected, angry and betrayed. I left. I then moved out the next week.
I have been catcalled at from boys in trucks. I am angry because I know they only are young boys being taught that it's funny.
I shared the same name as a supermodel, and was tagged in MANY explicit photos of her on instagram. And if you read their comments talking about her, you'd be disgusted. I was angry because I saw the filthy way men talk about women. Even if she was a model. (And that model? She was invited and attended the White House Corespondents Dinner. That made me jealous. And angry.)
I have been told I was pregnant by a doctor when I knew that wasn't possible. The doctor didn't believe me. "Immaculate conceptions are pretty rare," he said. He then strongly suggested that if I didn't remember getting pregnant, I must've been raped. I spent the next half hour in uncontrollable shakes thinking "What if this is true?" and if it was, "What was I going to do?" I am angry that was even a possibility, but I'm MOST angry for the thousands of women who have choices like this to face. I'm glad mine wasn't real.
I am lucky I haven't even experienced half of these situations in the article. But I'm angry that things like this exist.

#ItsNotOkay #notokay #sexualassault #donaldtrump