TLC has recently come out with a new show called Dance Moms. I've watched a couple episodes here and there. And while I'm not here to discuss the ups and many downs of the show, I thought to myself just how much I do not want my "dance world" today to be like that show. I think both the coaches and the mom's have their good and bad moments. But the biggest issue with that show is a lack of respect. A lack of respect for the people, a lack of respect for dance, a lack of respect for the dancers themselves. It's not pretty. And as a coach, that's something I will not allow to happen.


(The Century Centahnas with our trophy at the West Fargo Packatahna Invitational, December 2004.)

When I was a Centahna, our biggest rivals were the Bismarck Demonettes. (For those of you saying "What's a Centahna and a Demonette?"...They are school dance team names/mascots. As a dancer on the Century High School Dance Team, I was a Centahna. Get it? Ok. Awesome.) Our coaches made sure that we acted beyond our years, even when the Demonettes did things that, well, are childish and stupid and mean against us...even when they placed better than we did...and even when we placed better than they did. We were taught the most important thing that good sportsmanship teaches: respect. It wasn't always easy. But as I'd find out...it was worth it.


(This is Desi and the JV Demonettes. I know I have a better photo, but it's somewhere in my Twitter archives and I can't dig that deep to find it right now.)

Today, I am friends with a former Demonette. I believe we even competed against each other. She's the assistant coach of the JV Demonette dance team. But as we soon found out, we are both really awesome people that don't hate each other. And there's that other thing too. The "dancer" bond. It's something that feels like an exclusive club. When I find somebody else who dances, it's like we're part of this special group of people that understands exactly what it means to be a dancer.


(This is during one of our many Saturday practices. We're working to perfect our kick routine here! Our competition season is only 3 months long, but we had required technique workshops, required summer training including running and pilates 6 days/week, and required dance camp. Then our "season" practices went from August all the way through March. Even after that, the seniors still got together to practice for our senior routine.)
The life of a dancer is full of so many struggles. We often practice longer than any other sports team practices. I remember some of my practices during high school went sometimes 6 hours. That wasn't including the early morning practices before school, and the two and three-a-day practices we had every Saturday pre-State meet. We spend hours perfecting the tiniest of details. (Are palms facing in or out? Are we looking towards the crowd or to the corner?) We spend hours training or bodies for strength, stamina, balance, flexibility. And we better be good at all of it, because without one you fail to train yourself properly.

(We always began our practice by running the caterpillar run for around 10-15 minutes before practice. If it wasn't that, it was stair runs, followed by ab and muscle work for another 15-30 minutes. Then stretching for another 15-20. Yay for hour long warmups.)


(But all of that hard work pays off when you can do this. And a lot of other cool looking stuff, too.)



(Here I am before walking onto the floor. This is usually about when my legs started to feel like jello.)
And it's not just the training that makes it, either. It's the nerves that make you feel like jello before the music begins. It's the adrenaline rush you feel when you're out on the floor performing. It's the elation when you hit the perfect routine, or the frustration that comes after miskicks or a less-than-perfect turn sequence. It's the costumes, the sparkle, the makeup, the music, the smell of hairspray and the sound of the crowd cheering.

(Here's the end of the kick routine at the WF Packatahna Invitational. The feeling you get when the crowd erupts after the routine is done is like none other.)

This makes all of us dancers connected. Since high school, I've been blessed in meeting people and when realizing we have that connection. It's fun to talk dance, what routines we've done, what it was like.


(Our pizza party last night!)
This is what I told my girls last night as we ate some pizza getting ready for the competition tomorrow. I told them that, even though Champion may be stuck up snobs who act horrible to everyone else, we will cheer them on anyway. Because a few years down the road after they graduate high school and experience college life, they will probably meet and become friends with some of these girls.



And in the end, it doesn't matter who wins. But what does matter is respect. What does matter is how hard you worked. What matters is your attitude and how you act. Because in the end, being a dancer is to be part of a family. You may have your fights and your arguments, and you may get extremely irritated at them...but they are family.

(I know I certainly consider these girls family. Most of us still keep in contact.)

I hope and pray that my dancers learn that respect is far more important than winning. It's important for them to respect themselves and respect others as dancers.
And all together, dance isn't just about dancing. What they learn in these next few years of their lives will dictate what kind of people they will become. And I hope and pray that as their dance coach, I will teach them not just how to dance, not just different routines, but teach and show them life lessons.



In other news:
I packed what I believe is to be the best "dance emergency kit" ever. if there's something that I need that's not in this bag, I must have made a serious misstep, because I could swear I have everything they could possibly need! And you really don't want to know just how much I spent on all of this. Let's just say the Vikings could have had another cheerleader in the stands if it wasn't for this. ;-)

So here's to tonight, the life lessons I hope they learn, and the coach I aspire to be!