Michael Jackson. The past 24 hours have been flooded with messages, facebook status', tweets, blogs, and headlines about the King of Pop's death. However, if I'm being completely honest, I was never a huge fan of Michael Jackson. Yes, I definitely enjoyed the old-school Michael Jackson, back when he was that adorable little boy who sang "ABC, 123". Some of his other music has stuck with me just because of its use in movies, such as "Thriller," which has been in countless movies, or "The Way You Make Me Feel," which I knew from "Center Stage." "The Man in the Mirror" was probably the one song I truly appreciated solely from the MJ. The rest were just songs I could enjoy when I was in the mood, which wasn't often.

Like others, I found his progression after his childhood disturbing. The more he changed, the less I liked him. His latest face still sends shivers down my spine. It's truly ironic how "The Man in the Mirror" was his song, and it was his face that changed the most out of any man I've ever known. The more he changed, the more he seemed less like a human and more like an alien, which perhaps is why I couldn't connect with his music; It felt like the music came from a robot rather than a human. My mind would continually think of all the problems in his life, rather than listening and enjoying the beautiful ballads. It was the reality of his life that was the biggest hindrance in loving his music. Perhaps that's the true tragedy - not his death, but his mutation into a lonely, depressed, and self-mutilating human. It was then that many mourned the loss of the Michael they knew. It was then that his family cried out for help for Michael, knowing the fate he would one day endure. That's the real tragedy.

So, unlike the millions of others posting on their blogs how they are in tragic pain over the world's loss, I mourn not because of his death, but because now he will never overcome the problems he faced his latter part of his life.