"Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow." - Langston Hughes

I had the blessing and the phenomenal opportunity to see a fantastic musical in St. Paul tonight. My best friend and I had made today as our "get away from (most) school" day. This morning we had a photo shoot together, something we've done for the past few years just for the fun of it. After I was finished with my last class for the semester (woohoo!), and finishing up the eastiest and best Biology Lab assignment ever, I ran back to my room to get ready for our evening.

After a great dinner at one of my favorite places, the Old Spaghetti Factory, we drove across the river and into downtown St. Paul to experience what I had been waiting for, for almost 11 months... LEGALLY BLONDE: THE MUSICAL.

The musical, the singing and dancing version of MGM's hit Legally Blonde, has been in town for about a week and a half, and tonight I was finally able to experience it. It was a fantastic show, and although it took a better part of me not to sing along, I couldn't have been more happy. Besides the fact that I sat in my seat the entire show like a kid in a candy store, with eyes wide open and a huge grin pasted on my face, there are some great lessons I took away from the show.

In the show, the main character Elle packs up and moves to Harvard Law School in pursuit of her ex-boyfriend, the incredible Warner Hunnington III. During her time at Harvard, she learns things about herself that even she didn't know, such as that she has the brains to become a successful lawyer, or that being judged by her hair color shouldn't stand in the way of accomplishing her dreams.

I also had the pleasure of speaking with the some of the cast after the show tonight, including Becky Gulsvig, who hails from Moorhead, MN, just minutes away from my old hometown. (oh the days of the good ol' Hawley Nuggets!)Rhiannon Hansen (finalist on the MTV show's search for the next Elle Woods) was also there, and of course a few of the other cast members. (I also got to do the bend and snap with Becky and Rhiannon, which was thoroughly enjoyable...now if only I can plug that in when I need it to work on a guy.) In their discussion with the audience, one of the last questions asked was about how the actors got to where they are, and what advice they'd give to aspiring actors. Amidst other good advice was the classic phrase "Never give up, and believe in yourself."

I couldn't help but walk away from the Ordway tonight feeling like I believed in myself. The problem is, I only believe in myself until something tells me I'm not good enough.
I am a trained dancer, which is by far my forte. I can sing, but the last formal training I've had was high school. I can act, although, like singing, the last training I've had was in high school. But in a world with talent such as Susan Boyle boiling to the top now, I know I have enough competition to keep my hopes low enough that I don't want to try.
Then Becky Gulsvig mentioned something tonight that's stuck in my brain. She said "be yourself." I know, I know. "Be Yourself" is such a general term, and we've heard it all a hundred thousand times. But what she said somehow plugged it different in my brain. She mentioned that in show biz, you can get turned down for parts not because you weren't a good enough singer. In fact, you may have been a better singer, but you were taller than the male lead. You literally have to be yourself to get a part...that fits you. They will choose YOU based upon who YOU are. She mentioned that you can admire someone else, but if you try to be like everyone else, you'll never get a part. It's being who you are that makes the part.

So what does this mean? I don't know. I know that I can't be anybody else but myself. And I know I still have dreams I aspire to accomplish. And I know that I can't tell myself "I'm not worthy," without even giving it a shot. So I am going to take that first step in a long staircase, and we'll see where it leads.
Regardless of whether or not I find a place in the theatre community, we all must seek out our dreams, because when we lose them, we lose a sense of self, a piece of our soul, and possibly our future. So whatever your dreams may be, tell yourself every day to be yourself, and that someday that perfect part will come along that fits you to a "T." And remember, as Vivian put it, "Being true to yourself never goes out of style."

Now I have to face reality, however, and get some sleep, because the next 5 days are going to be the equivalent of "study hell" in preparation for my finals.